Obamaflowers
Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina.
How can I help you?
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating
my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to
reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am
calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes! I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by
the end of November . But I can help you.
Customer: Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary,
and wanted it delivered to my wife.
Receptionist: Interrupting, Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our
minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it
for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love
them.
Customer: Well, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver,
Gold. or Platinum package.
Customer: What's the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower
subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost
will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy,
then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
Customer: FlowerAid?
Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to
flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will
supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and
the Supreme Court found it constitutional.
Customer: Whoa! I don't remember seeing anything in the
Constitution regarding flowers as a right.
Receptionist: It is not really a “Right in the Constitution,”
but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme
Court Ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel
it is a right.
Customer: I don't believe this.
Receptionist: It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated
most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you
monthly income sir?
Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly
income.
Customer: Why?
Receptionist: To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.
Customer: WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme
Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.
Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50.
Receptionist: Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever
is greater.
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!
Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
Customer: Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's
going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. That's why I had the NSA track
this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE
I AM USING?
Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates sir.
Door bell rings, followed immediately by a loud knock on the door
Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir.
Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers.
Have a nice day and God Bless America.
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