Pisted, ha! You guys are funny.
Today was first day off to try it and had the same problem. Runs about 5 seconds before stalling. (I did get to mow with my old one- pushing the 9,000 pounds of dead weight in broken drive assist belts and chains, among other broken components, was an excellent reminder why I got this newer one from Craigslist last month.) Oh, and I did pump the primer while it was running, as suggested in that link that was posted. Still nope.
Thanks for that input, Jimmy. I'm going to find the fuel filter and change/clean plug before tapping out to trade these two in for something that works consistently.