My wife was startled by a masked bandit

[ray1970]

That?s right, folks. She was in the garage a couple of nights ago and in walked a raccoon.

I was upstairs and heard the scream. Figured she was either being attacked by someone or maybe she had seen a mouse. Went to investigate and it must have run away scared by my wife?s blood curdling scream.

Skip to this morning. I was leaving for work and there were raccoon tracks in the snow in my driveway.

Guess I need to see if I have raccoons hiding somewhere on my property and figure out the best way to evict them.

[ray1970]

Ha. Guess since this is posted in the ?ask for help? section I should have mentioned I?m open to serious as well as less serious ways for riding my property of vermin within city limits. Thanks.

[Irving]

They come out of the street drains in our neighborhood.

[Wulf202]

They come out of the street drains in our neighborhood.

I've seent this

[APEXgunparts]

They come out of the street drains in our neighborhood.

Oh great, "C.R.U.D." .... Cannibalistic Raccoon Underground Dweller....

Richard

[ray1970]

They come out of the street drains in our neighborhood.

I?m not sure we have drains like that in my neighborhood. With my luck they?re probably under my porch or something.

[buffalobo]

Cheesecake with rat poison in it.

[ray1970]

Cheesecake with rat poison in it.

How do I keep my wife from eating the cheesecake?

The husband is always the prime suspect you know.

[buffalobo]

Make 2, one with, one without?

[Irving]

Make 2, one with, one without?

Just don't let a Sicilian do it.