Joke of the Day

[BladesNBarrels]

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

[BladesNBarrels]

For a couple of years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason:
I'm tired because I'm over worked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.

[Circuits]

Being as it's talk like a pirate day - what's a Pirate's favorite letter?


Some would say it be "arrrr" - but they're wrong.

A pirate's first love is the "C".

[ChickNorris]

Not really a joke. . .


Yankee doodle went to town, riding on your mother.
Every time they hit a bump you got another brother.

[GilpinGuy]

Halloween. A kid comes to the door with a sign "I love ceilings”
What are you?
A Ceiling Fan.
Gave him all the candy.

[BladesNBarrels]

Been awhile:

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is. "Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he wants. Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" Rippington says, "I'll tell him."

[Gman]

Not really a joke, but not really a funny video either:

[ray1970]

Thanks. I used to listen to my dad?s Justin Wilson record as a child. Great humor.

[Bailey Guns]

If you like Justin Wilson you should listen to some stuff by Jerry Clower.

[Gman]

Jerry Clower is also a personal favorite. I remember many details from his stories.