Don’t use a capital R when spelling russia.
Sanctions don’t permit capitalization there.
Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums
Welcome to the Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums.
Welcome to the Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums.
Don’t use a capital R when spelling russia.
Sanctions don’t permit capitalization there.
This is my step ladder.
I never knew my real ladder.
Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
"Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain
What do you do if a Russian conscript throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!
I watched my first porno the other day... Man I looked young.
Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
"Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but only has one letter in it?
Envelope.
Can a Tesla be stolen?
Yes, but then it would be called an Edison.
FOR ALL YOU RETIRED HUSBANDS OUT THERE.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."
George S. Patton
"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
John F. Kennedy
?A motorcycle is a bicycle with a pandemonium attachment, and is designed for the special use of mechanical geniuses, daredevils and lunatics.?
George Fitch. c 1916.
I have done a few of those. Mostly at Murdochs but some at Walmart.
My favorite not mentioned - push an empty cart every where in the store and every time you encounter a little ol lady, bump her cart and challenge "wanna race?".
A biker is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion?s cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, ?Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.? The biker replies, ?Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.?
The reporter says, ?Well, I?m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow?s paper will have this story on the front page? so, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have??
The biker replies, ?I?m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.?
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
?U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.?
Two liberals come across a man in a ditch. He is bleeding, moaning. He has been beaten to a pulp and left for dead. One liberal says to the other, “Quick, we have to find the people who did this. They need help.”
Reply With Quote
