Joke of the Day

[muddywings]

This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.

On the way home, I stopped at the gas station and this drop dead gorgeous blond was filling her car at the next pump. She looked at the ammo in the back of my car and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, boy. Would you be interested in a trade, sex for ammo?"

I thought it over for a few seconds and responded......"Well, just what kind of ammo do you have to trade?"




Sorry, I stole this from another forum, but I had a good laugh and thought I would pass it on.

4.2....at best

I dont think I would be interested in that deal if I lived in Trinidad, just saying

7.1....firm

[budda]

I dont think I would be interested in that deal if I lived in Trinidad, just saying

She might have been packin a little extra..... In her pants

[Kraven251]

She might have been packin a little extra..... In her pants

Firm.

[Ronin13]

Do not get offended, it's only a joke- NOTICE: Ladies, I would never condone this behavior, but for the sake of the joke it did make me laugh!

The missus came home steaming drunk last night.
"You up for some role play action, babe?" she asked with a wink.
"Not really," I replied.
"Oh, come on," she said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror...

As I shouted, "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs.

[budda]

Do not get offended, it's only a joke- NOTICE: Ladies, I would never condone this behavior, but for the sake of the joke it did make me laugh!

The missus came home steaming drunk last night.
"You up for some role play action, babe?" she asked with a wink.
"Not really," I replied.
"Oh, come on," she said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror...

As I shouted, "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs.

I will be TELLING this to my wife when I get home tonight but not acting it out!!

[Jesus-With-A-.45]

Washinton DC.
Congress.
President Obama.
Liberals.
"Honest & Open" discussion before the liberal house, senate & governor vote on gun bans in Colorado.

Shall I continue......

[ray1970]

Two childhood friends part ways after high school graduation. One goes to Wyoming and becomes a rancher. The other goes to San Fransisco and becomes an interior decorator.

Years go by without the two having any contact then one day the guy from San Fransisco calls his farmer friend and tells him he is coming to Wyoming for a visit.

The two friends spend the day talking about old times and hanging out on the ranch having a great time. As they are walking along a fence line they come across a sheep with his head stuck it the fence.

"Woo doggie! Watch this..." Said the guy from Wyoming who proceeded to pull down his pants and service the sheep.

When he had finished, he looked at his friend from California and said "it's your turn now."

With a gleam in his eye, the interior decorator ran over to the fence, dropped his pants, bent over and stuck his head in the fence and said "go ahead."

[Byte Stryke]

Two childhood friends part ways after high school graduation. One goes to Wyoming and becomes a rancher. The other goes to Denver and becomes an politician.

Years go by without the two having any contact then one day the guy from Denver calls his farmer friend and tells him he is coming to Wyoming for a visit.

The two friends spend the day talking about old times and hanging out on the ranch having a great time. As they are walking along a fence line they come across a sheep with his head stuck it the fence.

"Woo doggie! Watch this..." Said the guy from Wyoming who proceeded to pull down his pants and service the sheep.

When he had finished, he looked at his friend from Denver and said "it's your turn now."

With a gleam in his eye, the politician decorator ran over to the fence, dropped his pants, bent over and stuck his head in the fence and said "go ahead."

I like mine better

[ray1970]

I like mine better

Come on... Everyone knows a politician gives the screwing and doesn't take the screwing.

[GilpinGuy]

An old timer was working on his ranch in Nebraska one day when he collapses from an apparent heart attack. His wife drives him the 30 miles or so to the nearest hospital.

After some time, the doctor comes out to the waiting area with a long face and walks up to the old timers wife.

"Your husband suffered a serious heart attack. He's still alive, but I'm afraid he is brain dead and will not recover", said the doctor.

The wife bursts into tears. The doctor says "I'm sorry for your loss madam."

The wife says, "Thank you. It's just....we never had a liberal in the family before!"