Joke of the Day

[sp1tty]

lol opie.

[Irving]

What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?


"This won't take long, did it?"

[DSB OUTDOORS]

What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?


"This won't take long, did it?"

Why can't you hear 2 rabbits F**king??
>
>
>
He has Cotton Balls!!!

[spittoon]

uh

[JohnTRourke]

A woman (married three times) walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

'Of course, madam,' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?'

The bride-to-be said: 'A long frilly white dress with a veil.'

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, 'Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time---for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?'

'Well,' replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, 'I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.'

'What about your third husband?' asked the sales clerk.

'That one was a Democrat,' said the woman, 'and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.'

[ChunkyMonkey]

I gotta steal that one...

[275RLTW]

Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:


On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play toegether. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no availfor he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.


Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.


The moral of the story?? yep, you betcha, there is a moral





'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley to Pick Up Chicks!

[Byte Stryke]

Five cannibals were employed by Special Forces in the Highlands as scouts and translators during one of the operations during the Iraq War. When the Commanding Officer of Special Forces welcomed the cannibals he said, "You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Army is eating. But please don't indulge yourselves by eating a Soldier."

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later the C.O. returned and said, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our Sergeants has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"

The cannibals all shook their heads 'no'. After the C.O. left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, "Which of you idiots ate the Sergeant?"

A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Lieutenants, Captains, and Majors and no one noticed anything,..... then YOU had to go and eat an NCO!"

[JohnTRourke]

Five cannibals were employed by Special Forces in the Highlands as scouts and translators during one of the operations during the Iraq War. When the Commanding Officer of Special Forces welcomed the cannibals he said, "You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Army is eating. But please don't indulge yourselves by eating a Soldier."

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later the C.O. returned and said, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our Sergeants has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"

The cannibals all shook their heads 'no'. After the C.O. left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, "Which of you idiots ate the Sergeant?"

A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Lieutenants, Captains, and Majors and no one noticed anything,..... then YOU had to go and eat an NCO!"

ROTFLMAOPMP

now that's funny.

[StagLefty]

Marine School Teacher



A former Infantry Sergeant having served his
time with the Marine Corps took a new job as a school teacher.

Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required to
wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the
cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
students in the school. The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a
former Marine were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really
was before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy
classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his
desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and
stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that
year...