Joke of the Day

[ChickNorris]

My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town.
Once he saw a group of beach-goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property.

As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.

Ah, yes the jokes on them & that is pretty funny. Another way...

I've done something of similar sentiment but rather than waiting for them to leave, I waited for them to return, re-enter the vehicle & buckle up. Not being shy, I walked up to the car, opened the door while they sat there wide eyed and confused & said 'You dropped this Sir'. Then, not so politely I returned their discarded food containers to express my displeasure at their lack of consideration.

[Irving]

I've done that once as well. ^

[ChickNorris]

Unfortunately, the reservoir of my remaining jokes are not appropriate for print if assuming the ones I've already shared ever were. I'll have to stockpile & revisit this thread after I sort for more 'Dad' jokes that everyone can enjoy.

Um, what's a pirate's favorite song?

Shake, shake shake.
Shake shake shake.
Shake your bootie. Aeow yeah...

[Irving]

What do you call two canaries?

Binary.

[Irving]

Whats the difference between a blonde & a mosquito?

Smack it & see which stops sucking.

Oh yes i did say that. Doh!

Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. One claims they are moose tracks, while the other is sure that they are bear tracks. While they are arguing, they both are run over by a train.


Is #blondelife a thing? Maybe it should be.

[OldFogey]

Three nuns died in a terrible car crash. At the Pearly Gates they were met by Saint Peter. "Good day, Sisters!", he said. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven. Before you may enter you must first answer a question." The three nuns looked surprised at this pronouncement. He stepped up to the first nun who was very young and said "you are a novitiate and will therefore have a simple question - who was the first man?" The young nun proudly proclaimed "Adam!" And the trumpets played and the gates swung open. He then spoke to the second nun - "Sister, you were also a novitiate, so your question shall also be simple - "Who was the first woman?" "Thank heavens for an easy one!" she replied, " Eve!" And the trumpets played and the gates swung open. St. Peter then spoke to the last nun who was obviously much older than the other two. "You, Sister, were the Mother Superior of the convent and will therefore have a much more difficult question - What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" Well, Mother Superior was sweating bullets. No one ever taught her this. She drew a blank. "Oh, Dear Lord!" she said "That's a hard one!" And the trumpets played and the gates swung open...

[Irving]

Unfortunately, the reservoir of my remaining jokes are not appropriate for print if assuming the ones I've already shared ever were.

PM them all to me!

[Irving]

How do you pick up a Jerry's Kid in the bar?







With a magnet.

[ChickNorris]

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of your hand.

[68Charger]

My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town.
Once he saw a group of beach-goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property.

As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.

Reminded me of a friend on Cotopaxi... when she had something she wanted to get rid of near the holidays, she would wrap it up like a present and leave it in the back of her truck when she went to the city... the item went away, and she too pleasure in knowing she ruined a thief's day.