Joke of the Day

[Duman]

LOL!!

[BladesNBarrels]

Today, I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, "that's a little condescending."

[Duman]

Ouch.....

[BladesNBarrels]

Do you know why nobody talks about Abraham Lincoln's crimes?
Because he's in a cent.

It?s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
? Muhammad Ali

Question: What did ET's dad say when he got home?
Answer: Where on Earth have you been?

I am worried about the math teacher holding graph paper- she is definitely plotting something.

Question: Where do you learn to make Ice Cream?
Answer: Sundae School

Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Question: What do you call alien eggs?
Answer: Eggstra-terrestrials!

I got second place in a Groucho Marx look-alike competition.
Close, but no cigar.

Worrying is like Paying A Debt You don?t owe.
? Mark Twain

Question: Why is history like a fruit cake?
Answer: It 's full of Dates.

Pretend you are on a raft in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks.
You only have a one day supply of water and a harpoon.
What do you do?
It's easy!
Just stop pretending.

[crays]

I took my one-legged dog for a walk yesterday.


What a drag.

Sent from somewhere...

[GilpinGuy]

Dogs can't perform MRI's. Only cats can.

[crays]

But some can do Lab tests

Sent from somewhere...

[Gman]

Did you hear about the guy that was shot with a starters pistol? It was race related.

[Gman]

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

[ChickNorris]

I saw that story too... when he was going down the backside of the prison wall. It was a little condescending.