There is a new pill out for depressed lesbians.
Its called tridixagin the generic version is tricoxagin.
There is a new pill out for depressed lesbians.
Its called tridixagin the generic version is tricoxagin.
Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
"Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain
The Vasectomy.
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.
Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table.
The man obeys.
The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about.
As the nurse is getting dressed, she informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.
While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks," What are they doing in there"?
The nurse responds, "They're preparing for vasectomies as well
but . . . . you are covered by Blue Cross and they have Obama Care."![]()
I see you running, tell me what your running from
Nobody's coming, what ya do that was so wrong.
Hear about the deaf lesbian?
She was good at reading lips......
The most important thing to be learned from those who demand "Equality For All" is that all are not equal...
Gun Control - seeking a Hardware solution for a Software problem...
Why does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants? So you can read her lips!
If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?
***WARNING TASTELESS JOKES AHEAD***
What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Polio! she had everything else.
Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper? So she could always find him
How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand one the road!
Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color? A1: Corduroy. A2: Velcro.
Why was Helen Keller's leg wet? Her dog was blind too.
Who is the smartest man in the world? The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help
Did you hear that new Helen Keller joke? Dont worry, neither did she.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman!
No seriously why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!
How did Helen Keller break her arms? Trying to read road signs at 40mph.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blind, too.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? Neither did she
What is it called when you blow in Helen Kellers ear? Data transfer.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!
What happened when Helen Keller tried to rob a bank? She tied up the safe and blew up the guards
How did Helen Keller burn her face? By answering the iron!
How did the Helen Keller try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
How did she burn the other side of her face? They called back!
How do you torture Helen Keller? Rearrange the furniture. Glue doorknobs to the walls Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
How come Helen Keller didn't scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens
How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!
How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler
Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.
Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she!
What do you call a tennis match between helen keller and stevie wonder? Endless love
What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs
Whats Helen Kellers favourite movie? Around the Block in 80 days.
What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store? Just looking!
How did helen keller burn her face? She was bobbing for french fries.
What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.
Why were Helen Kellers hands purple? She heard it thru the grapevine.
Why did helen keller go crazy? She was trying to read a stucko wall.
Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...
Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?
Stevie Wonder one is new to me. That one was good.
"There are no finger prints under water."
A guy goes into USPS to apply for a job.....
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok. Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's service! Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 AM, and plan on starting at 10:00 AM every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 AM?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver obviously confused said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous". "Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.
The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK?
These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time" "Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142.
Whore monger Mike!
Slinging coconuts since ever since...
A cop is hiding behind a bridge along a commonly traveled road, just waiting for a speeder or other moving violation.
After a few moments, a car comes bombing along the road, so the cop pulls out and turns his lights on.
Once the car stops the officer gets out and walks up to the car to find a lady behind the wheel. He asks what her hurry is.
She replies "I am late to a meeting with a client".
The cop asks "What do you do for a living?".
The lady replies "I am an asshole stretcher. I start with a single finger, then work my way up to 2 and so on, until the asshole is approximately 5 feet in diameter."
The cop, completely astounded, asks "What do your clients do with a 5 foot asshole?"
The lady replied "Give him a badge, a radar gun, and hide him behind a bridge to give busy people tickets"...