Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums
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Welcome to the Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he visited a fourth grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’. So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him that would be a tragedy.
“No,” said Obama, “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff killing everyone that would be a tragedy!"
“I’m afraid not,” explained Obama. “That’s what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?
Finally, at the back of the room. Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher held her breath!
In a quiet voice he said: “If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
“Fantastic!” exclaimed Obama. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says Johnny, “It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss…and you can bet your ass it wouldn’t be an accident either!”
The teacher fainted!
Subject: What causes arthritis?
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on the subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a
half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father,
what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping
around with prostitutes and lack of a bath!'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' Then returned to his
paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized .
'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had
arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that
the Pope does.'
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend," can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her . he's naked as well! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbour, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a ********, so just shoot his cock off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment , be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."
Brian H
Longmont CO
"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."
How many divorced guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. All the light sockets stayed with the house.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Haw haw haw?..
Haha!!Originally Posted by JohnTRourke
It just struck me.
Heidi Cruz has got to be Stifler's Aunt.
A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they settled in their seats a woman across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, " Are all these kids yours?" He replied, " No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
Already a good tasteless "too soon" joke has arisen from the Orlando shooting:
So a Muslim walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
And the Muslim replies. "Shots for everyone!"
I'm not too ashamed that I giggled a little bit at that one.
Modern liberalism is based on the idea that reality is obligated to conform to one's beliefs because; "I have the right to believe whatever I want".
"Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people."
-Penn Jillette
A World Without Guns <- Great Read!
My Mommy, The Dancer
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, So when the teacher gently prodded him about his mother, He replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a club and takes off all her clothes in front of men, and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this bold statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to quietly ask him, "Is that really true about your mother, dear?"
Nope," the boy said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that In front of the other kids."
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