A man appears before St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven. "Have you done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

The man did not hesitate to say "Absolutely, on a trip near Reno I met a group of bikers who were threatening a lady. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. I walked up to the biggest, meanest-looking biker and kicked his bike over before punching him in the face and kicking him hard in the shin. I yelled 'Now back off or I'll beat the tar out of all of you!'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago."