Joke of the Day

[ChickNorris]

How does Darth Vader like his grilled cheese?


On the dark side.

[ChickNorris]

Ba dum tss

[Irving]

So like a sharp cheddar, as opposed to with provalone?

[William]

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

ha ha, better not show this one to the wife.

[Circuits]

What do you call the unreliable copier?


Bob Marley - cos he always be jammin', mon

[RblDiver]

Stolen from my friend:

In a small American town, a band of squirrels had become quite a problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

The Methodist church tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

[Gman]

My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an Xbox game for his Playstation.

[OldFogey]

My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an Xbox game for his Playstation.

Now, THAT was funny!

[ChickNorris]

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, 'Here's something I have that you'll never have!' The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a huge smile on her face. She lifts her skirt and says, 'My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!'

[ChickNorris]

Little Sally came home from school and told her mother, 'Frankie Smith showed me his weenie today at the playground!' Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.' Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, 'Really small, was it?' Sally replied, 'No, very salty.'