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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1091
    Grand Master Know It All Duman's Avatar
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    ChickNorris.... you're on a roll !!

  2. #1092
    Ammosexual GilpinGuy's Avatar
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    A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

    "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
    pulls back the covers.

    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

    "Are - my - test - results - back?"

  3. #1093
    Grand Master Know It All BladesNBarrels's Avatar
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    Did you know that in the USA you can't take a
    photo of a man with a prosthetic leg?
    You need to use a camera.

    Question:What do you call a smelly fairy?
    Answer: Stinkerbell

    My wife poked me in the eyes yesterday,
    so I stopped seeing her for a while.

    Question:What do you call 2 Banana Peels?
    Answer: A pair of slippers.

    A Romanian woman claims to be the
    world's oldest mother at 66...
    That?s rubbish, my Mum's 85!

    The two most common elements in the
    universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

    Question:What did one wall say to the other wall?
    Answer: Meet me at the corner

    Someone told me they really like my name.
    I said thanks, I got it for my birthday!
    Buying Randall Made Knives and Randall 1911 Pistols

    BladesNBarrels Feedback

  4. #1094
    Mr Yamaha brutal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BladesNBarrels View Post
    The two most common elements in the
    universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


    And timely too!
    My Feedback
    Credit TFOGGER : Liberals only want things to be "fair and just" if it benefits them.
    Credit Zundfolge: The left only supports two "rights"; Buggery and Infanticide.
    Credit roberth: List of things Government does best; 1. Steal your money 2. Steal your time 3. Waste the money they stole from you. 4. Waste your time making you ask permission for things you have a natural right to own. "Anyone that thinks the communists won't turn off your power for being on COAR15 is a fucking moron."

  5. #1095

  6. #1096
    Carries A Danged Big Stick buffalobo's Avatar
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    $80
    If you're unarmed, you are a victim


    Feedback

  7. #1097
    Possesses Antidote for "Cool" Gman's Avatar
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    I figured $100. $70 in goods and $30 in cash. The same as the theft of the $100, which was simply exchanged for equivalent goods and cash. The wholesale price of the goods doesn't account for the lost profit of the retail sale.
    Last edited by Gman; 04-09-2020 at 22:09.
    Liberals never met a slippery slope they didn't grease.
    -Me

    I wish technology solved people issues. It seems to just reveal them.
    -Also Me


  8. #1098
    Machine Gunner Jamnanc's Avatar
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    Wow. F’in hilarious. Can’t stop crying.


    Little johnny please.

  9. #1099
    Possesses Antidote for "Cool" Gman's Avatar
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    Click image for larger version. 

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    Liberals never met a slippery slope they didn't grease.
    -Me

    I wish technology solved people issues. It seems to just reveal them.
    -Also Me


  10. #1100
    Machine Gunner JohnnyDrama's Avatar
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    Thanks Gman.

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