Joke of the Day

[Joe_K]

What?s the difference between the titanic and the state of California?
.
.
.
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The Titanic had her lights on when she went under.

[flogger]

There is a new Netflix film on Jeffrey Dahmer.
They reveal that most of the corpses found were missing the nose and he was saving them to make a Dahmer nose pizza.

[Little Dutch]

There is a new Netflix film on Jeffrey Dahmer.
They reveal that most of the corpses found were missing the nose and he was saving them to make a Dahmer nose pizza.

Booo! Get off the stage!

...OK. I admit I chuckled.

[Little Dutch]

A moth walks into a podiatrist?s office.

He says ?Doc, I?m not doing so well. My wife, Mrs. Moth is thinking of leaving me, my son Julio Moth hates me, my daughter Cindy Moth is a failure, and my boss Gregory Linovich is an evil person who feeds off my very demise. You see, I work at a factory and I?ve been at the place for 20 plus years. Everyone in my rank has gotten some kind of promotion or recognition besides me. It has been the same never ending hell of a rut for a mere two decades! Two I tell you doc! By god, when I lay down to rest my tired eyes after a long day of welding and clanking, and operating, and steering, and weeping- I not once but twice a night look over to my bedside to find a gun. A gun lying beside me just waiting for me (a lonely man) to finally end the charade to which I keep living on and on- repeating the vicious cycle I call my life. Doc, I am depressed!?

?Well, Jesus!? Says the Podiatrist. It seems like you need some serious help! But I am a podiatrist. What you need is a psychiatrist to help you!?

?Yeah. I know that, doc?. The moth says.

?So what the hell are you doing in here?? The Podiatrist asks.

?Because? the moth exclaims. ?Your light was on.?

Dang, I miss Norm.

[BladesNBarrels]

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, You must be a Republican!
I am, replies the man. How did you know?
Well, answers the balloonist, everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me.
The man smiles and responds, You must be a Democrat.
I am, replies the balloonist. How did you know?
Well, says the man, You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.



Take a look at the actual position of the coordinates, and this joke takes on another aspect of humor.

[Alpha2]

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, You must be a Republican!
I am, replies the man. How did you know?
Well, answers the balloonist, everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me.
The man smiles and responds, You must be a Democrat.
I am, replies the balloonist. How did you know?
Well, says the man, You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.



Take a look at the actual position of the coordinates, and this joke takes on another aspect of humor.

That dude needs a new GPS.

[RblDiver]

Take a look at the actual position of the coordinates, and this joke takes on another aspect of humor.

...I don't get it. Some random location in Mertzon, TX?

[BladesNBarrels]

...I don't get it. Some random location in Mertzon, TX?

Yep, not really a location for a man fishing from a boat below
So, the irony or humor is that neither one knows where they are.

[wyome]

Mertzon is a nice lil town...but not much fishing there hahaha

[Scanker19]

Yep, not really a location for a man fishing from a boat below
So, the irony or humor is that neither one knows where they are.

The opposite of irony is wrinkly…