That joke was awesome!
I hate those cars
I say lets all remove the warning labels and let nature take its course.
A new monk takes a vow of silence. He's silent for five years, and then he goes to the head monk. The head monk congratulates him on his acheivement, and offers a chance to say two words.
The monk utters, "Bed hard."
Five more years pass. Finally the monk sees the head monk again.
He is allowed two more words after these ten years. "Food bad."
Five years later, the monk is allowed to speak after a total of
fifteen years. His words: "I quit."
The Abbot replies, "Good Riddance! You've done nothing but bitch since you got here!"
Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.
- feedback -
(former username "zip")
Here's one I heard from some golfers:
What's the difference between a golfball and a g-spot?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
A man will spend more than three minutes searching for a golf ball
Two Coffees in Heaven!
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack Obama meets a man
with a beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks. 'No my son, I am St. Peter;
Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the
clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama
climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes
into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you
Mohammed?' 'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet
again, he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with
a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'No, I am
Jesus, the Christ; you will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain
his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher. Once again, he reaches an
even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a
silver white beard and once again repeats his question: 'Are you
Mohammed?' he gasps as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his
climbing. 'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you
look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?'
Obama says, 'yes please!' As God looks behind him, he claps his
hands and yells out: 'Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!'
Keep your trust in God; your president is an idiot.
NRA Benefactor Member
"If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." Samuel Adams
Feedback and Disclaimer
There's a smart car in COS that has the license plate "ESC POD"
I've seen one with a bumper sticker that said "escape pod for a hummer"
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ, we are the III%, CIP2, and some other catchphrase meant to aggravate progreSSives who are hell bent on taking rights away...