Nothing wrong with some long posts.Originally Posted by BuffCyclist
Thank you, actually... It was a good read.
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Nothing wrong with some long posts.
Thank you, actually... It was a good read.
No problem. It was very scary.
We just went out of town to see a good friend who is home on R&R from deployment and plans to propose (actually did on the 4th, she said yes). My fiancee made the joke to him to make sure she doens't keep repeating herself.
I recreated our first date. We went out to dinner, then to a local coffee shop for dessert and then on our way home, drove up to the space museum. They have this big outside museum where you can walk between and right up to rockets and other jet nozzles etc. It was cold out, so we were both kind of shivering and as I was telling her all the things I loved about her, she kept interrupting me, so being cold, I started over my speech until finally she realized what was going on and shut up.
What was funny though, is that when I was on my knee, after I proposed, she started crying and didn't answer. About 3 minutes went by before she actually said yes, she was just crying and looking at the ring. Let me tell you, THOSE were the longest 3 minutes of my life!
I already know she'll say yes... She's pretty much told me.No problem. It was very scary.
We just went out of town to see a good friend who is home on R&R from deployment and plans to propose (actually did on the 4th, she said yes). My fiancee made the joke to him to make sure she doens't keep repeating herself.
I recreated our first date. We went out to dinner, then to a local coffee shop for dessert and then on our way home, drove up to the space museum. They have this big outside museum where you can walk between and right up to rockets and other jet nozzles etc. It was cold out, so we were both kind of shivering and as I was telling her all the things I loved about her, she kept interrupting me, so being cold, I started over my speech until finally she realized what was going on and shut up.
What was funny though, is that when I was on my knee, after I proposed, she started crying and didn't answer. About 3 minutes went by before she actually said yes, she was just crying and looking at the ring. Let me tell you, THOSE were the longest 3 minutes of my life!
Oh I knew she'd say yes too, but given the huge life changing event, I was still extremely nervous in the moment and was waiting for her to actually admit it out loud lol.
(I'm not married but I got engaged last time I was home)
I did. My girl and I had talked about getting married several times but before I made it official I flew out to CA to ask her dad (One star General in the Army). Since her folks are split, I also took her mom out to lunch and got her go-ahead too. To me it's about respect. Just buckle down and do it.
Be prepared to outline why you want to marry their daughter, why you are good for her and why two are good together. If her family has their shit together (and it sounds like they do) expect some real discussion about the "logistics" (How are you going to provide? Where do you see yourself/family in X number of years and how are you going to get there? Etc.) Approach it like a job interview. That's their baby girl. Have your shit together and present a confident front.
I was confident of a yes from both parties but it was still a bit uncomfortable. I'm not sure what the recourse would have been if either had said no. Re-set and reassess I suppose.
Mick-Boy
"Men who carry rifles for a living do not seek reward outside the guild. The most cherished gift...is a nod from his peers."
nsrconsulting.net
^^ This. Seriously, plan everything you are going to say and know they might ask you questions in return.
It also helped that my future brother-in-law (her sister's husband) had asked me about 3 weeks prior before they moved to the north eat for AF relocation, when I was going to ask her to marry me. He already knew she would say yes, knew her sister loved me and wanted me to propose and knew that their parents were fond of me too.
Last edited by BuffCyclist; 07-07-2013 at 03:45.
Very put together family... Father is a nationally recognized stock broker.
Oh yea, one more thing to think about before going into it, how are you going to pay for the wedding? As in, her father might ask you that, though thats getting pretty in-depth for just a marriage blessing.
If you are on their good side, and you ask for their blessing, those are several things that might come into play and they might be more willing to play the traditional role of paying for the wedding.
But I'm no expert, I'm not even married yet. You'd probably have better luck asking the others on here who have been married multiple times, they have more experience... :/
Then again, I could just be overthinking it too much. My future father-in-law was shocked and caught off guard, so he didn't say much other than "i'd be happy to have you as my son-in-law". It was honestly a little awkward lol.
I'm also sick, haven't slept in 2 nights (due to the cold, and neighbors shooting off fireworks all night long on the 4th) and am in a constant mode of grogginess/drunkeness from the dayquil. Needless to say, I've been having a hard time coming up with the correct words to use while talking to my co-observer tonight lol
Then plan on him wanting you to outline the "hows" and "whys". If he's a pragmatic man, expect more emphasis on the how.
Like I said, my girl's pops is a Brigadier General. I didn't approach him like it was a pissing contest. But I didn't come into it with my head bowed and my hand out either. That whole thing about "knowing your audience" was in effect. The man is a respected professional so I was respectful. He's a very successful soldier so I couldn't appear weak (what soldier, in the history of ever, would let his daughter marry someone that he didn't believe was capable of protecting and providing?). In the end I approached it just like I was briefing him on an op. I told him why I was there, outlined why I wanted to marry his daughter and how I was going to make it happen then asked his permission/blessing to go forward. No issues.
With her mom I spent a lot more time talking about the abstract. How I knew she was the right one. Why we're good together. etc. Again, know your audience. Her mom was a lot more interested in the "why" than the "how" if that makes sense.
Last edited by Mick-Boy; 07-07-2013 at 04:00.
Mick-Boy
"Men who carry rifles for a living do not seek reward outside the guild. The most cherished gift...is a nod from his peers."
nsrconsulting.net
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