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  1. #66751
    Fire Crotch
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    Balls, no upgrade for me.

  2. #66752
    Fire Crotch
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    I have decided that airlines need to adopt the following policies:

    1. before boarding the plane, you will be required to proceed through an obstacle course with your roll on luggage. If you bump into anything, your bag will be checked.

    2. At the end of the obstacle course, you will be required to lift your luggage into am overhead compartment. If you are unable to do this without dropping your bag, falling over, crushing other bags or ask for assistance to lift your bag, your bag will be checked.

    3. If you smell like ass, BO, cigarettes, cologne, perfume, have greased back douche hair, are actually a douche, or fail to reply to the flight attendant when they greet you as you board the plane, you will be checked and will not receive beverage service in the cargo bay.

    4. A "beanie" is also grounds for you being checked. That is, assuming you aren't also wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled over your "beanie".

    5. If you are unable to count and can not locate your aisle, or pass it because you thought "5 comes after 12", just keep walking off the back of the plane.

    Now, who's with me in getting airlines to adopt these?
    Last edited by BuffCyclist; 02-03-2015 at 10:42.

  3. #66753
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    I think that's why they invented first class in the first place.
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  4. #66754
    The Red Belly TheBelly's Avatar
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    BC: I know that my carryon is a bit on the big side for a carry on. Knowing this, I play the game: If the ladies get a small carryon item, like a purse, then so do I. The difference is this: I ALWAYS gate-check my carry-on, and my small personal bag is actually medically required equipment that I HAPPEn to have stuffed my ipad into. I gate-check, then watch my movie, read my book, etc.

    I'm with you on the rules. I think the obstacle course is the best part.
    Just doing what I can to stay on this side of the dirt.

  5. #66755
    Mr Yamaha brutal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BuffCyclist View Post
    I have decided that airlines need to adopt the following policies:

    1. before boarding the plane, you will be required to proceed through an obstacle course with your roll on luggage. If you bump into anything, your bag will be checked.

    2. At the end of the obstacle course, you will be required to lift your luggage into am overhead compartment. If you are unable to do this without dropping your bag, falling over, crushing other bags or ask for assistance to lift your bag, your bag will be checked.

    3. If you smell like ass, BO, cigarettes, cologne, perfume, have greased back douche hair, are actually a douche, or fail to reply to the flight attendant when they greet you as you board the plane, you will be checked and will not receive beverage service in the cargo bay.

    4. A "beanie" is also grounds for you being checked. That is, assuming you aren't also wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled over your "beanie".

    5. If you are unable to count and can not locate your aisle, or pass it because you thought "5 comes after 12", just keep walking off the back of the plane.

    Now, who's with me in getting airlines to adopt these?
    While I don't disagree, and have many other rules I don't feel like posting at the moment, if you are Gold and board early, what's the beef?

    That said, UA flyers will know what I'm talking about when I say the the Gold flyers are PISSED that they have to board in priority 2 lane with us lowly Silvers and everyone that has a UA CC entitling priority 2 boarding. I actually now fall into that last group until I get my status back (missed it by >< that much last year).
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  6. #66756
    The "Godfather" of COAR Great-Kazoo's Avatar
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    We just say very loud. That SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHECKED IN YOU RUDE IDIOT. That usually prompts an attendant to handle it. The spouse and I are not friendly sky people.
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  7. #66757
    Little Dragonfly fly boy's Avatar
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    KELLY CLARKSON

  8. #66758
    Gives a sh!t; pretends he doesn't HoneyBadger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Great-Kazoo View Post
    We just say very loud. That SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHECKED IN YOU RUDE IDIOT. That usually prompts an attendant to handle it. The spouse and I are not friendly sky people.
    I don't doubt that you actually say this.
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    ― Russell Kirk, Author of The Conservative Mind

  9. #66759
    The "Godfather" of COAR Great-Kazoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoneyBadger View Post
    I don't doubt that you actually say this.
    I asked the lady sitting across from me if she had formula for her 4 yr old, or would she prefer duct tape. I understand there's difficulty managing 1 not to mention 2 - 3 kids on a flight. However When you sit there reading / watching your tablet or phone, while semen demon #2 thinks my chair is his / her trampoline AND you ignore or fail to discipline them. too fukin bad. Like dining out, we're entitled to some privacy as well as quiet.
    At the same time we also thank parents for keeping their kids restrained, even under difficult circumstances
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  10. #66760
    Gives a sh!t; pretends he doesn't HoneyBadger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Great-Kazoo View Post
    I asked the lady sitting across from me if she had formula for her 4 yr old, or would she prefer duct tape. I understand there's difficulty managing 1 not to mention 2 - 3 kids on a flight. However When you sit there reading / watching your tablet or phone, while semen demon #2 thinks my chair is his / her trampoline AND you ignore or fail to discipline them. too fukin bad. Like dining out, we're entitled to some privacy as well as quiet.
    At the same time we also thank parents for keeping their kids restrained, even under difficult circumstances
    I applaud your efforts. I wish more people would tell parents to manage their kids in public.
    My Feedback

    "When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law." -Frederic Bastiat

    "I am a conservative. Quite possibly I am on the losing side; often I think so. Yet, out of a curious perversity I had rather lose with Socrates, let us say, than win with Lenin."
    ― Russell Kirk, Author of The Conservative Mind