The rules we have for my family are pretty simple. We bug-in unless there is a compelling reason to bug-out. We're well situated in a good neighborhood that is fairly well shielded from anything that could happen in downtown Denver. It is a defensible postion well outside a potential blast zone's outer ring.
We do have rules that apply in case we're not at the house. We have designated rally points that are easy to get to and means to communicate if no one is there and what to do next. Short of a complete surprise attack by terrorists, most events are going to be telegraphed by the opposing side. Learning to recognize that is important. When you start seeing the serious warning signs of a possible outbreak of hostile action, you need to hunker down and be ready. As a practical exercise, it is important to practice making your rally points in differing scenarios. Any of you who are ex-military will know the value of training exercises. Practice long enough, often enough, it becomes a habit when you are forced to respond.
Should you have to bug-out, you need to know where you are going to go, how you are going to get there, what you will be taking, and how to be flexible and still make your objective. The real first rule is Murphy's Law, which means you have to be able to adapt and overcome. The best laid plan, no matter how well thought out, how well physically planned can always go FUBAR.
In our house, if we have to bug-out, we will cache a lot of things deemed unnecessary for later recovery, like a squirrel hiding nuts if you will. Basic but-out kits in our home is:
1. Appropriate sized backpack
2. sleeping bag bivvy
3. 10 days LRRP rations
4. 4 liters of water
5. Personal water filtration system
6. MOPP Suit
7. Gas mask w/spare filters
8. Large roll of duct tape
9. Compass
10. Waterproof maps
11. Appropriate clothing
12. 200 rds. 9x19mm
13. 200 rds. 5.56mm
14. 50 rds. 12 ga. 2-3/4" OO Buck
15. 50 rds. 12 ga. 2-3/4" #6 shot
16. 10 Cyalume sticks
17. Mk. 4 signal smoke/flare
18. Flint & Steel
19. wire saw
20. Combat knife
21. Medical Kit
22. Medicine pack (antibiotics, pain, BP, etc. -- talk to your physician)
23. Monocular
24. 50 12" zip ties (these are very very useful)
25. Snare wire
26. Hand-fishing kit
27. Self-inflating sleeping mat
28. Whistle
29. Eating utensils
30. Large steel camping mug
31. Steel dinner plate
32. Cooking pot
33. Chemical/Biological agent detection kit
34. 12 ga. pump shotgun
35. 9x19 mm semiautomatic pistol
36. 5.56 mm semiautomatic rifle
37. cleaning kit & oil
That's pretty comprehensive and maybe a bit on the heavier side of things for some people (a good excuse to start exercising now so you can hump it)
my two cents per usual....