Close
Results 1 to 10 of 1240

Thread: Joke of the Day

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Sig Fantastic Ronin13's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Arvada, CO
    Posts
    10,268

    Default

    This one almost had me fall over:
    Three guys walk into a restaurant .....
    A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,"Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
    The waitress nodded "yes!" So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
    The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
    The third patron, to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.
    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord.
    Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.
    Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."
    For Those Who Understand, No Explanation is necessary.
    For Those Who Do Not Understand, no explanation is possible
    "There is no news in the truth, and no truth in the news."
    "The revolution will not be televised... Instead it will be filmed from multiple angles via cell phone cameras, promptly uploaded to YouTube, Tweeted about, and then shared on Facebook, pending a Wi-Fi connection."

  2. #2
    Machine Gunner osok-308's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Parker
    Posts
    1,596

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin13 View Post
    This one almost had me fall over:
    Three guys walk into a restaurant .....
    A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,"Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
    The waitress nodded "yes!" So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
    The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
    The third patron, to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.
    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord.
    Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.
    Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."
    For Those Who Understand, No Explanation is necessary.
    For Those Who Do Not Understand, no explanation is possible

    This is a great one! hahahahaha.
    I don't make the rules. I just think them up and write them down.

  3. #3
    Grand Master Know It All crays's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Live-Aurora Work-Golden
    Posts
    4,260

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin13 View Post
    This one almost had me fall over:
    Three guys walk into a restaurant .....
    A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,"Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
    The waitress nodded "yes!" So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
    The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
    The third patron, to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?"
    The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.
    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord.
    Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.
    Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."
    For Those Who Understand, No Explanation is necessary.
    For Those Who Do Not Understand, no explanation is possible
    Excellent contribution, Ronin. Definitely worth passing along.
    Comply in public, Conduct in private.

    FEEDBACK

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •