Joke of the Day

[funkfool]

A Wish To Live Forever
I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress get their heads out of their asses!"
"You crafty bastard," said the fairy

[porfiriozg]

if you cant beat them, find a loop hole to the rules

A Wish To Live Forever
I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress get their heads out of their asses!"
"You crafty bastard," said the fairy

[Irving]

Oh man, that's great!

[Lex_Luthor]

Not really a joke, actually more truth told.

I have often wondered why it is that Conservatives are called
the “right” and Liberals are called the “left.” By chance I stumbled
upon this verse in the Bible:

“ The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left .”
Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)

Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen

[Hoosier]

Not really a joke, actually more truth told.

I have often wondered why it is that Conservatives are called
the “right” and Liberals are called the “left.” By chance I stumbled
upon this verse in the Bible:

“ The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left .”
Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)

Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen

If anyone is interested in the real reason for the nomenclature, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left–...y_of_the_terms

H.

[theGinsue]

A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. "Frogs are good bass bait," I thought to myself.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Just then, I realized I had a problem: how was I going to release the snake without getting bit?

So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

The snake's eyes rolled back and he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge at my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in its mouth.

Life is good in the South.

[Irving]

During a Black Eyed Peas concert in London, Fergie lifted up her shirt and flashed her titties at the crowd. Everyone cheered. Minutes later, the Queen of England jumped up on stage and started douching right in front of everyone. The crowd went wild.

A lone American in the crowd loudly asked, "What the fuck is going on?!" A Brit next to him responded, "Come on mate, everyone knows that a Royal Flush beats a Pair any day."